Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Art: Effects of Revision

Part the Second.

So what's the payoff here, B? Why did you make me come back to your ramshead-over-white blog?

Other than talking about the process of writing and writing better . . . I guess there's not one. Oh wait. The pun in the title.

"Artifacts of revision" is a phrase I encountered this past spring. Maybe it's old hat or standard fare in the editing world, but it speaks volumes to me about the process and commonplace struggle of revision.

Artifacts of revision. What does that even mean?

My younger brother may be the archaeology whiz but I'm going to take a whack at this anyway. To my understanding, an artifact is "physical evidence of change purposefully wrought by an external actor." In all likelihood, I will be torn apart for that definition. It seems accurate to me in the fields of archeology *and* editing, but what do I know?

What is revision? I've heard it called pulling teeth, murdering darlings, nails on a chalkboard, shaking hands with the devil . . . Wait, that's not it. Revision is (bare-bones derivation ahead!) looking again, glancing back at what you've written and checking the structure, tearing out the flaccid dialogue and excising those words which bear no weight, building up and off of what works, being willing and able to toss a phrase, a favored scene, a character, a storyline, a book into File 13. Revision is perspective in action.

Based on the above, 'artifacts of revision' becomes "physical evidence of the writer's active perspective." That's a less pithy sound byte, but maybe a smidge easier to apply. In point of fact, AofR show you where the story has been. This can be as blatant as a reference to a redacted character or as subtle as verb tense.

The simple existence of the phrase is a balm to my writer's heart. When I thumb through a story I've tweaked and tossed and massaged and slaved over and I find, just for example, a priest who is 80 on one page and 106 two pages later, I tear out some beard hairs and, just as I'm reaching for the ashes and beginning to rend my garment, I recall the phrase.

While the best editing is invisible, I'm glad to know I am not the only bull elephant charging around the typewriter shop.

*This presupposes that the work has been through several solid drafts and the author in question handles grammar and syntax decently. These same errors can alternatively be read as sloppy craftsmanship. I am an optimist. I assume that errors are mistakes, not indifference or ineptitude. The first few times.

Agents and slush-readers may not have my sunny disposition. :'(

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Please find below a photostat of my first draft on this subject.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Hinky-Pinky

New Fun Game! Rhyming! Guessing! Road-trip friendly!

2+ players, Age unlimited.

It's all about the rhymes, folks.

You think of two related, rhyming words (fat cat, bird turd, stable table). Based on the number of syllables in each word, you say "hink-pink" (1 syllable), "hinky-pinky" (2 syllables) or "hinkity-pinkity" (3 syllables, ultra-rare).

Then the clue! My SIL insists that the clues must be one-to-one and not phrase value, but I think that "my uncles" is a better clue for "Mother's brothers" than "parents, siblings." House rules, I suppose.

After the clue giving, pandemonium breaks out and everyone calls out guesses. A lot of the time, there are some really good pairings that you hadn't thought of, but stick to your guns for the phrase you picked.

The winner gives the next hinky-pinky and the games goes on. While it is kind of silly on the internet with rhyming dictionaries galore at the click of a mouse, it's a lot of fun and can be quite challenging in person.

Also, it's a break from I-Spy.

Practice round: Hinky-Pinky, Scary Tent

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It could be a lot of fun to play on-blog or onFacebook with status updates! (hint-hint)
Monday, June 28, 2010

Looking Twice

Part the First

We've all heard the dusty old saw "Practice makes perfect." And while I defy the existence of perfection in this world (especially in any story *I* can create), I cannot deny the ameliatory effects of revision on current and subsequent works. In other words, "Practice increases potency and proficiency."

Why even bring this up? Seems pretty commonsensical in the writing sphere. Well, I have this silly Romantic notion of artistic creation (Wordsworth did too) that immediacy of inspiration and quality of work are inseparably twined. The unspoken corollary being that (capital)The (capital)Muse, while fey, is fleet of foot and therefore the initial draft is the most inspired. What follows after is filled with sound and fury, signifying nothing as the fey is already fled.

Now, you know and I know that real revision, the kind typified by setting bones and scrapping scenes has just as much to do with writing as geometry has to do with the Vitruvian Man. "The Muse" is simply a title we ascribe to what we don't consciously understand: the synapse that fires unexpectedly, the thematic connection that haunts the edge of a daydream, the glimpse from the end of a dock of a green light across the waves. There is as much perseverance as providence in this writing adventure.

This knowledge doesn't change my 18th century hope for the perfect original draft, but hope is not the same as belief. I know that my writing process is flawed, my perceptions skewed, my narration disconnected from the narrative. How do you go about repairing a faulty story?

Like the old battle-ax said, "Practice, practice, practice."

But seriously, how do YOU repair a faulty story?

Coming on Wednesday, Part the Second "Art: Effects of Revision"
Thursday, June 24, 2010

Accomplishments

Got the A/C repaired

Got the cats treated for fleas

Got the house treated for fleas

Mowed the front yard

Mowed 1/2 of the back yard

Sprayed Round-Up on the driveway "garden"

Learned to survive on less than 4 hours of sleep per night

Learned to let chores slide in favor of sleep/sanity

ps. Writing related post on Monday, if not before.
Thursday, June 10, 2010

Introduction

World, this is Baby.

Baby, this is world.

Play nice.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I see weird things

The other night, I stopped by the cable company's office to drop off our monthly pound of flesh. Now, it's 10 o'clock on a Tuesday night in our little town and the majority of the Southern ladies and gentlemen were well on their way to dreamland or at least ensconced by their overstuffed sofa, waiting for Letterman.

A white conversion van was already pulled up beside the cable company when I got there. A slightly built person with shortish hair (male? female?) got out of the van and picked up a black trashbag from the side of the building. S/He opened the back doors and tossed the bag on top of at least 5 other black trash bags. I thought it was weird, so I took down the license plate number just in case.

Then things got weirder. I got out of my wife's little car and put our payment in the overnight box. The trash-picker glanced back and walked quickly to the driver's door of the van and got in. Then, the van's lights went out and the van crept to the back of the building and hid behind it with its lights off.

I was intrigued. I got back in my car and pulled into an adjacent parking lot and shut off my lights. I got out my cell and pretended to be on the phone in case anyone noticed.

A shadow walked up beside the cable building and moved its head left and right a few times. The shadow walked closer to the front of the building and scanned again. I was still and silent. Like a good predator.

The lights of the van shone down the alley and, once again, we had a midway stall. For 10 seconds the van sat with its lights on in the alley.

The Chase Began!

The van pulled out into traffic. I waited for a count of 3 then pulled out myself. I wanted a more complete description of make and model and also to confirm the license number. So, I did.

I chased that van all through town and out onto the highway. Then, after confirming the plate and make/model, I called the police.

Was that too much? Possibly. But when a personal vehicle takes trash from a company that has my personal information, I take no chances.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Gratuitous Video Tuesday

Because it's been awhile, here's a gratuitous Video Tuesday. A Bugatti Veyron and a Ferrari F430 tooling around Laguna Seca. In the bottom right corner is a speedometer and a line map. via Motor Authority via a lot of other places.

Deuces, kids.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Spiked Chalice

After a long day of driving across Mississippi, Angela and I were intrigued by a dingy cardboard sign that flashed by on County Road 154. I reversed back down the red dirt-gravel road until we could read the faded writing: Fall Faire in hand lettered calligraphy. The sign marked an intersection with a faded lane that might once have been a driveway. While we were considering, the rich oily smoke of real pit barbecue and the off-pitch keening of a fife filtered through the trees. The sensory triggers drew us from the main road and down the dirt path through the pines and maples overarching the lane. When grass grew over the track completely, I braked to a halt and looked back at Angela. Angela raised an eyebrow. "Adventure?" I asked.

"Adventure," her eyes said.

I got out to look over the all-terrain tires. Luckily our cross-country trek had already included a fair bit of off-roading. It never hurts to double-check before an adventure, though. You wouldn't want a flat and to get stuck in the middle of nowhere. I got back in. With noses and ears on full alert, we pushed forward.

The trees and brush drew closer and the terrain more hilly until we traveled in four-wheel-drive on broken trails, chasing the smell and sound across streams and ditches, one that I'd be tempted to call a gorge, before we ran up against the dense outer edge of a copse of juniper. I stopped the engine and looked around. Only rabbit trails left and right. The shrilling of the fife at that point was piercing and the air was thick with smoked meat. We were close but the sun was setting. I twisted in my seat to face Angela. "I think we need to head back. It's getting on toward night."

The limb of a tree disturbed by our passing settled back against my left arm. I reached over with my right hand to push it away. Angela didn't answer, although her eyes widened. She looked behind me as the tree branch grasped my brushing hand. Honestly, I jumped. I looked back and found my hand trapped in a large tanned hand. Above the hand, a thick wrist disappeared into the sleeve of a periwinkle robe. A blond-bearded man looked into my eyes and parted his lips to show his large teeth in an untrained smile.

"Brot," he said and gestured toward the trees. A tangle of unruly branches curled back to create an opening. It appeared too narrow for the jeep, but plenty wide for single file foot traffic.

I jerked my hand from his grasp and twisted the ignition. It didn't catch. Not even a stutter. The headlights which moments before had struggled to pierce the gloom of the interspersed trees were now dark. Brot knocked twice against the silent sheet metal. A melon sized dent in the fender emphasized his request when he gestured again. With no other choice, I climbed out. Brot walked to the passenger side and lifted Angela from the floor in the back where she lay. I reached back for her dangling hand as we entered the grove, Brot looming behind me.

Instantly, any ambient light from the deepening dusk was cut off. Brot's bulk blocked any sight of my yellow jeep as we stepped into the passage. The sudden shift from light to night disoriented me. In the space of a single step, I found myself blind, unable to distinguish sky from ground from formless void but overwhelmed by the closeness of Brot's hulking presence. The swelling fife and the weight of the smoke spun me and twisted me and the only touchstone I had was the sound of Angela's breath and our hands in the dark but then my hand grasped empty air and my breath rang lonely in my ears and I shut my eyes and Brot's presence grew upon me, the fife skirled high, the smoke billowed into my face, my stomach dropped and a hand tucked my bangs behind my ear.

"You still need that haircut."

Angela.

I opened my eyes.

She was still in her evening dress, a full green gown off the shoulder with a satin brocade skirt. The rip in the bodice had been repaired. Her hair was styled the way I remembered it from the first time I saw her, flowing down her back with her bangs in two small braids swooping down to her ears and rising to meet at the back of her head. She was very close so I could see her.

A dim red glow with hints of blue lit a low, round room of mud and stone. A fire pit in the center held the ghastly fuel responsible for the spectral light, flames licking the knobbed ends of charred white sticks. The walls curved around to meet at the arched doorway where Brot stood dwarfing an oak and iron door. The room was bare, only myself, Angela, the fire and Brot marring the sparseness. Yet Brot seemed to fit, an organic extension of the walls. In the smoldering firelight, his robe sank to dark violet, his beard to brown and his eyes to cavernous hollows from the farthest recesses of which something stolen shimmered.

My lungs stopped and my knees gave out. I fell against the wall and shuddered.

Angela knelt beside me. "Hey. Look at me. I don't know how, but we will get home." Her hands shook, but she held them against my face anyway. Her voice rang with the promise of our unending love. "I promise."

A low whistle and crack sounded from the pit. Brot walked to the center of the room. He reached into the flames and reverently drew out something reddish-brown and doll-sized, then set it down in front of us before resuming his position at the door.

In the shadows, I saw the outline of a rude chalice: a thick stem topped by a filigree of spiking iron, a deep glass bowl within. As Brot sank back, the firelight revealed more detail. The stem was a gnarled knotwork of blade-like edges and spines, a devil's walking stick cast in metal. The openwork around the nesting bowl wove chaotically ever upward, throwing bright thorns at all angles into the murk. From the interior, something dark and viscous reflected the wavering light through the dull interstices. The glass bowl sat far below a cold crown of spikes along the lip. Brot's reflective eyes tracked from me to Angela to the chalice.

I looked at Angela. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

Angela stood and started toward it. I made a noise to stop her.

She looked back at me. "I don't think he's going to let us out of here. What if the only way home is to play along?" Her one-sided grin made her brave tear-rimmed eyes flash.

I fought to rise but a dark hand held me, my legs unresponsive and my throat dry. She raised the chalice to drink and I watched the heavy iron points sink into her hands. Tear her skin. Pierce her face as she drew it close. She closed her eyes, but she drank. In great heaving swallows, she drank. Her eyes flew wide, she gasped air through her nose, raised it higher and drank.

The room trembled. A crack ran across the ceiling and down the walls. The fire flared green once and shrank, cloaking the room in blessed shadows.

Angela pulled the empty chalice from her hidden face. She wavered and Brot stepped to her from across the room. As Angela fainted and he lifted her into his gentle arms, Brot looked through the darkness to where I sprawled limp and he grinned, eyes and teeth reflecting the dying embers.

The room shook again.

He winked.

The ceiling fell around us.

* * *

Darkness.

* * *

My eyes cracked open.

Glints of flashing yellow light and the ragged edge of voices from a distance behind me. I was surrounded by horse apples and propped against a tree trunk in the middle of a small clearing. Angela lay only a few yards away, highlighted by a patch of moonlight, her back to me. Her dress was still damaged and she didn't appear to be moving at all anymore.

My legs were inoperative but the rest of me moved, so I crawled toward her on my elbows. "Angela," I croaked, "Angela, it's me. Wake up. I can hear people." I reached out to jostle her shoulder. When I touched her, she flopped onto her back and her left arm splayed outward, almost hitting me. Her eyes were open, clouded and dry. Her mouth was still gagged, but her face . . .

I choked a sob and looked down. Her arm lay still across the leaves, the imprint of my rope darkening against her flesh. Across her pale, white hand I counted one, two, three deep wounds. At her fingertips, instead of the iron and glass chalice, I found a length of two-by-four wrapped with a slender braid of bodark limbs, limbs so lithe and small I'd be tempted to call them vines if not for the inch-long spines and the littering of green fruit around us. Nature's own barbed wire my father had said. I picked the board up and the unwrapped end felt smooth. Shaped. An errant splinter pricked the heel of my palm. I saw my hand. My hand, covered in dried and drying blood.

A voice from behind me, "I've found a way in. I see her!" Two men rushed past dressed in the tan uniforms and dark brown Stetsons of county deputies. The first one knelt to check for a pulse on Angela's neck while the other kicked me away from her and held his gun on me. Pieces of dip speckled his bottom lip when he shouted. "What did you do to her, you sick son-of-a-"

"Roy, shut it." The kneeling man stood up, smoothed his blond mustache and sniffed. "We’re too late. She's dead. FBI said she might be." He looked into my eyes and parted his lips in a viscous sneer. He lifted his arm and gestured out of the clearing. "After you, son."

He winked.